I feel this diminished equity as the child is being taught or receiving the message that boys and girls can only play or do things that are related to their gender. This creates biases of sexism which can be carried on throughout adulthood in the thoughts that certain jobs and domestic responsibilities are based on gender.
When I witnessed this incident I felt bad for the child as he thought he was doing something wrong. I also viewed this father in the a light as being "macho" and was from the "old school" with his views on male and female roles. I also thought he would be the type of father that tells his son "boys don't cry".
I am proud to say that I made a difference or a change for equity with this situation as when this happened I did approach the father in a respectful way and explained how children learn through play and when boys have the opportunity to play with dolls this is a way for them to explore and role play their role as being a dad, just as girls role pay being moms. I was happy to see the dad's facial expression change as it appeared he had an "ah-ha moment". He stated he never thought of play like that and from that he did tell his son when he comes back to school tomorrow he can play.
I feel if we as educators if we continue to grow as adult learners we can share our knowledge and expertise in a variety of ways that will make positive change in order to provide equity for children as well as make change within society. We do not always need to have a formal parent training or workshop in order to educate our parents. As we look for those teachable moments throughout the day with children we can take those same opportunities and provide teachable moments for adults in a respectful and informal manner. Sometimes those experiences have greater meaning and impacts.
I have witnessed this bias many times before with "Macho" fathers not allowing their boys play with dolls. As ECE professional, we need to keep educating our parents that play is important part of developing their social/emotional skills. By the way, I like the way you approached the father and addressed his concerns.
ReplyDeleteAs times change, we are beginning to see more and more single fathers as the primary caregiver for their children. Men sometimes have to prove their masculinity and as result, the children suffer. These fathers have to understand that roles don’t necessarily have to be gender specific. Boys should be allowed to play with dolls. It doesn't make the boy feminine. It allows the boy to express himself through play. Nothing more, nothing less. More than likely, that same boy playing with dolls will become a father someday.
ReplyDeleteHi Rhonda
ReplyDeleteI too have witnessed this bias/gender role stereotype from a father. I remember while carrying out one of my observations for a previous class at a preschool there were two children playing (1 male and 1 female) and the little boy, a bit younger than the girl was hold a doll mimicking the girl. It was about pick up time and the dad came in and saw his son playing with the doll. he took the doll from the child and said to the teacher "why are you letting my son play with dolls? he will become a 'cici' (meaning gay). After he left, I told the teacher that she would have to speak to him on the importance of free play in his son's life.
This is a hard situation for sure. We must always have the belief that parents are their child's first and best teachers even if we don't share their philosophies and ideas about the child rearing they are doing. I heard of a similar situation where the father was so infuriated that the dramatic play area stayed in the classroom and his son continued to play there, dressing up in heals and dresses to care for dolls that he pulled the child from care. It makes you wonder what happened in his life to make him believe so much that it is a woman's job to care for the house and the children.
ReplyDeleteI have in my parent handbook what they children are learning in each center and why it is important. I also have a statement about our philosophy of allowing children to explore all roles in the dramatic play area. Thank you for sharing your experience!