Stress on Children's Development

The impact of domestic violence on young children:

When I was growing up I felt that overall any stress that was occurring within the family was managed fairly well.  I feel that I was very lucky to have a good childhood.  However, for my mother and her siblings they were not as fortunate.  My grandfather was an alcoholic and was very abusive to my grandmother.  There was never any direct abuse to the children but the children were witnesses of domestic violence and alcoholism. They grew up in a house that was very volatile and were always fearful as they never knew what was going to trigger a violent episode.  My grandfather did work away for some days at a time.  The children loved this time, as this was the only guaranteed time of peace within the house.  However, when the children would hear his truck pull up in the drive way, they would get physically ill.  Their stomachs churned and would induce an instant upset stomach.  The stresses of living in this type of environment impacted the development of my mother and her siblings in different ways.  I believe this was due to the age of the children, their own personalities, birth order and the roles in which each of the children took on with in the dynamics of the family in order to cope with the situation.  My mother was the third of three girls, then had a younger brother.  There were three years between each of the girls and then seven years from my mother and the brother. 

The oldest took on the role as an overachiever.  She threw herself into her studies at school.  This was her escape of the her home life.  She also lived in shame and embarrassment.  As she grew up she strived for nothing but the best.  She had a career, the big house and fancy car.  She provided every opportunity for her own daughter.  But many times her expectations were so high, it made it hard for those to live up to.

The middle child took on the role as the rebellious one.  She would be defiant and stood her ground.  She would not back down and butted-heads with her parents.  I feel this was how she could control something in her life.  As she grew up she was very strong and an independent person. 

My mother took on the role as the peace-keeper.  She would play a lot with her dolls and not doing anything to cause trouble.  She was obedient and did what was expected without being told.  As her middle sister would stand-off with her parents, she would try to convince her sister to just listen and do what she was told.  This was just to keep the peace.  As my mother grew up she maintained her role as a peace- keeper as she was flexible and would adjust to what others wanted. 

The youngest child was always wound-up and had poor social-emotional skills.  As he grew to be older he did not exhibit a strong sense of self and had a period in which he turned to unhealthy behaviors to diminish his pain. 

Even though each child took on different roles to help them cope, they also created a network among themselves and took care of each other.  This has carried on throughout their lives as they have provided much support to their own children as well as to other in the family during a crisis or in a time of need.  They all have a strong sense of family and would be there for anyone. 

The impact of war on young children:

In researching the impacts of war on young children I found not to my surprise that war impacts every domain of their development.  Children are being physically wounded, maimed and even die from results of gunfire, bombs and mines.  The economic impact that war has on a community is devastating.  It destroys the infrastructure, jobs and housing.  Children's basic needs are not being met.  Children go without shelter, food and clean water.  This impacts their nutrition and in turn their physical and cognitive development.  The psychological effects on children is many suffer from post traumatic disorders.  This can impact their social and emotional development and their future relationships.

 I did research on what is happening in Afghanistan.  This county has been in turmoil due to war for numerous decades.  As such it has left Afghanistan as one of the most dangerous places for women and children.  According to the organization War Child, one in seven children will not see their fifth birthday.  War Child has assisted children in Afghanistan by establishing childhood development centers in which children ages four to six can attend an early learning school environment, socialize with other children, have snacks, while being in a safe place.  Other programs have been established in order to provide education and work skills to older children that will need to work in order to help support their families financially.

Reference:  http://www.warchild.org.uk/about